“I like talking to you and I like sharing silence with you”.
That was my response to him asking me if I would be upset if he fell asleep on the phone. That unintentionally poetic response did several things for me; It grounded me, provided clarity, bolstered my confidence–I felt unapologetic and I felt safe.
Several moments into meaningful silence, he asked me if I had put him on mute. I had. Why? I was waiting for my food to be delivered. I did not want the obnoxiously loud buzzer to disrupt his sleep or the silence we had built. He said, thank you. And I muted the call once more.
Of course I cared.
And with that, I felt an urgency to return, to write. Not to write because of hopelessness, and not to romanticize with darkness.
He woke up again. He asked me what I was doing. I told him I was doing something I hadn’t done in a long time. I was writing for my blog. Are you in a dark place, he asked me. I smiled healthily. No, I’m not.
Can you tell me what it’s about? Yes, it’s about a phone call.
And I muted him again. I did not want the clickity clacks of the keyboard to disrupt his sleep.
Of course I care.
& Other Long Stories 