A reassuring decade

I turned 30 in January. Unmarried, no children, no dog, no mortgage, no boyfriend. This is not the 30 I had planned for myself.

Two months into 30, what I do have is  an incredible sense of self, confidence, an unapologetic attitude, a willingness to say no, and much more. With certainty, I am the best version of myself so far.

The past creeps in, sure. The triggers trigger. But the tools have been tested, the repair is more efficient and the recovery is quicker. I have taken myself apart and put myself back together so many times, so, so many times. I know how I work and I have a better idea of what works.

I don’t feel like ‘it’s all downhill from here’–I feel the exact opposite. I am being positioned to do exactly what it is I was put on earth for –whatever that will be, and I am confident even though I have no clear idea what my purpose is.

I’m a confident 30. I’m not worried at all. My time will come and when it comes, I will be ready.

 

Advertisement

A letter to my imaginary daughter : Love what you wear

*I wrote this one month ago.

Dear Zara,

You are not in my womb yet. In fact, I am yet to find the person who will co-create you.

But this is the name he and I picked for you. He being the person I hoped would help me, create you. We picked your name because I may or may not have had an obsession with the Spanish retailer Zara. In addition to loving their clothing, I thought it was a pretty name. We had a Pinterest board dedicated to the idea of you–given the story behind your name, it’s only right that we planned and prepared your cutest outfits very far in advance.

Like your mother, you will probably waste large amounts of time picking an outfit. Your style will change drastically through time. You might even obsess over certain colors like I have (navy blue, Zara, navy blue). Zara you will change your mind and at some point, you will get tired of what originally seemed like fun. You might wish that you could dedicate yourself to one style. But if you are anything like me Zara, that will be impossible, and you will come to learn that this will actually go against who you are.

I want you to become frustrated with your outfits. I want you to have a closet full of clothes that you never wear. I want there to be a special place in your closet for these items. I want you to try different styles and play with patterns and color. I want you to have closet favorites and staple items. I  want you to be comfortable in your clothing, no matter what you choose. And I hope that your clothing makes you happy.

Zara, become frustrated with your outfits. If they aren’t working for you, if they don’t make you feel your best, baby, go change.

Let yourself have choice. Be overwhelmed by the choices Zara, but never feel like you are above them. Acknowledge the choices, respect them for what they are, but if you don’t love it, don’t wear it. I don’t want you to ever feel like you have to wear something. Make choices, Zara. Learn how to be happy saying yes, and be confident when you say no. With time, you will learn what makes you look and feel great.

Remember that the best deals are not always on the sale rack. Be cautious of fast fashion.

Understand that as you grow and change, some of your clothes might not fit you the way they used to. Your favorites will change. That’s okay, baby girl. It can be in your closet but it doesn’t have to go on your body. Eventually, when the time is right you clean your closet. You might have to do this more than once but don’t be afraid; you will love results. I promise.

I pray that you know who you are, I pray that you are confident. But be open to the new things, because I bet, you’ll find something you didn’t know you could love. When you find items Zara, you might also find your best self. Experiment and learn.

Don’t wear anything that doesn’t make you feel like the best version of yourself. Change as you need to. Change the moment you feel uncomfortable but if possible make sure that when you leave the house Zara, you like what you are wearing. Sometimes it will be difficult to come home and change. Difficult but never impossible.

I don’t know at what age you’ll read this, but you’ll come to see that what I am telling you Zara, is to date. Avoid premature commitment, Zara. Try not to commit to anybody that does not commit to you. If your goal is marriage, don’t feel that it is running towards you. As you grow, you will approach the goal. Don’t be haste. Be cautious of the honeymoon phase, Zara – avoid fast fashion.

Watch your clothes for holes, be sure to check for fabric content, inspect your clothes after you wear them, after you wash them…how do they hold?

Know that many of your clothes will be tossed in the washing machine on Sundays. Be careful of the piles of clothes on the floor my dear, if you must dig through them, be discerning. Take note of what you dry clean, pay attention to the clothes you hang carefully–these are your key pieces.

I love navy blue baby, but everything in my closet has been navy blue. This color holds stains well.  Allow yourself some color Zara, if for no other reason than to see the stains as they are.